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Going Nowhere Page 13


  On the downside, April was avoiding him, so I probably should, too. On the upside, he had one of the last free chairs in the café. Either way, I couldn’t run away from someone for no reason. Unless their name was ‘Max,’ obviously.

  I made a ‘one minute’ sign to Sam with my index finger, then ordered two lattes and four cookies. The lattes were premium and I had to pay a few bucks with my ship card, but the cookies were free. My parents would think I was crazy to buy a drink that wasn’t even alcoholic when there were so many free options to be had. Right there in the café, you could get hot water, tea, both regular and decaf coffee‌—‌all for free. After being on the ship so long, though, the free stuff gets to be a bit of a bore.

  I collected the drinks and snacks then joined Sam. “Hi, Sam. I got you a coffee. And some cookies if you like.”

  “Thanks,” he said genuinely.

  It wasn’t until I watched him take a sip and smile that I realized I had bought him the coffee just to be friendly. I’d actually forgotten about the whole sucking up thing since my life had gotten so complicated with Max.

  “Do you happen to know where April is?”

  “No, sorry. I heard things went the way you’d planned.”

  “I thought so, but now‌—‌not so much.”

  I ate some of my double chocolate cookie and felt calmer. “Why is that?”

  He put his coffee cup down forcefully on the coffee table, causing some of it to slosh over the side. “I’ve been looking for her all day. I think she’s avoiding me.”

  “I don’t know about that. But if she is, how do you feel about that?”

  “How do you think I feel? I feel angry.”

  I noticed the paper bag he was holding between his legs. I took a deep breath. “What’s in the bag?”

  He reached into the bag. “It was a gift for April.”

  I stared at the big blue stuffed dolphin he deposited on the table, one of the branded gift items sold in the Connoisseur Cruises gift shop. I had to look away. “Maybe April just got carried away. You know, a shipboard romance. We can all go back home and pretend like nothing ever happened.”

  “I don’t think so. I could never work with someone who has humiliated me.” He put away the dolphin. “I don’t like being rejected.”

  “Like I said, you don’t have to consider it a rejection. You had a brief, whirlwind romance‌—‌”

  “No!”

  The anger of his response startled me and I jerked away. I noticed other people in the café looking at us with concerned expressions. I lowered my voice and said, “Whatever happens, you need to be reasonable. If you fire a woman for not wanting a relationship with you, you are entering dangerous territory.”

  “I don’t need a lesson in the law from you.”

  I stood up with my coffee. He could keep the cookies. I needed to get away before things got worse. “It was lovely talking to you, but I have some things I need to attend to.”

  He nodded and grinned like the Grinch. “Yes, I’m sure. You and April are both quite good at avoiding responsibility.”

  “No, I just have some feminine issues to take care of, okay?” My face got hot, but I kept a straight face.

  Sam had no response for that, but I could see that he hadn’t changed his mind about me. “See you on the flip side.”

  And that was the last I saw of Sam Goldblum on the magically disastrous cruise that took me all around the Caribbean, but got me nowhere.

  The rain started overnight. As I lay dejected in my bed, the clouds opened up and dropped buckets of water onto the ship. Even in my windowless room I could hear it. I put a pillow over my head and thought about Christmas. That usually cheered me up.

  By the time I finally fell asleep, I’d convinced myself that I actually had something to look forward to when I woke up.

  The next day on the ship was a sea day, as we chugged our way back to Miami. It was now only sprinkling occasionally, though the sky remained an unwelcoming shade of gray. I hung out with April early in the day, who was still managing to completely avoid Sam, but that still left me with about twenty more hours of lonely floating.

  I called Max’s stateroom, but he didn’t pick up. I left a message. “Hi, Max. I’m ready to talk about what happened. I’m sorry I behaved so erratically yesterday. I’ve had a lot on my mind. Please call me.”

  I spent the next few hours in my room, but he never called. When I called him, it rang and rang until it went to the messaging system. Maybe I’d have better luck finding him on foot.

  For another hour, I explored the ship. At first I wandered aimlessly, but soon I was methodically checking each restaurant, store, and deck for Max. After a while, though, I found a secluded spot on the deck and watched the rain fall diagonally against the varnished planks. If I were lucky, he’d walk by.

  If not, it was my own fault.

  I wiggled my toes anxiously in my damp sandals. My soul felt heavy with all the pressure of the games I’d been playing for the last six days. I couldn’t say that I didn’t want the partnership anymore, but this wasn’t worth it. I wanted my life to have some sort of dignity.

  After another hour of sitting, I went to find a drier part of the ship. I found an ashtray for Max in one of the gift shops. I didn’t know if it would be unique to him, but I knew it was something he’d like. Prepared to be an adult this time around, I intended to give it to him whether or not he forgave me for my games. I just wanted him to have it.

  Before I knew it, the sun was setting and still no Max. I went back to my stateroom to check my messages, but there was nothing.

  I realized that I had learned two things on that cruise: the importance of dignity, and why you should never, ever take someone for granted.

  Chapter Sixteen

  DESPITE EVERYTHING, I actually got to work early on Monday morning. I’d thought it would have taken the Jaws of Life to pry me out of my bed, but after pressing the snooze button only twice, I managed to stumble to the kitchen to scarf down a couple slices of dry toast. Then I quickly showered, dressed, and drove, stopping at David’s Café on the way to grab a sickeningly sweet Cuban coffee. Ah... brain... functioning.

  I intended to get to the firm early because I knew Max was always one of the first ones in the office, go-getter that he was.

  It was hard to accept that Max hadn’t contacted me before we had disembarked back at the Port of Miami. It was even harder to think about facing him at work, with the memories of what had happened still hovering between us. Deep in thought, I nearly ran over him in the firm’s parking lot.

  I parked and hurried to catch up with him. “I’m so sorry. I hope I didn’t scare you too much.”

  “Are we talking about in the bedroom or your attempt at vehicular manslaughter?”

  “Um, both?” I held open the door while he struggled his way in with a stack of folders, a laptop case, and a cup of coffee. “So can we talk?”

  He shrugged. “I am interested in hearing what you have to say.”

  “Really? Because you wouldn’t return my calls on the ship.”

  We stepped onto the elevator together. “I needed some time to cool down. You are a very frustrating woman. Now that I’ve had some time to think, I... never mind.”

  “No, please tell me.” I gazed forlornly at the wall, remembering the way Max’s touch had made me feel compared to the hollowness that now pervaded my entire body.

  He shook his head. “I don’t think I should tell you anything. I think it’s your turn.”

  Max was right. It was my turn. The elevator arrived at our floor and I grabbed his arm. I pulled him away from the office and down the hall.

  There was a closet where we kept all our extra toner, paper, and cheap ballpoint pens that nobody liked. I took Max there and used my keycard to open the door. Then I yanked him inside.

  He almost dropped the stuff he was juggling.

  I helped him by holding his coffee. I took a sip. “Mmm, this is good. Did you get it from New
s Café?”

  He raised one eyebrow. “Please help yourself.”

  “Hey, we’ve mingled a lot more fluids than this.”

  “When you put it like that, I get so turned on.”

  I handed him his coffee. “Okay, let’s talk seriously. First off, I’m sorry I’m a lunatic. That cruise was a temporary leave of sanity for me. Understood? We will never refer to it again.”

  “Go on.”

  “Second, the next time we have sex, I will not run screaming from the room. Unless, of course, you produce a butt plug or a dog collar.”

  “Golden showers okay?”

  “As long as I get to go first.”

  He cringed, then laughed and pulled me close. “Are you going to make me ask you three times whenever I want to take you to dinner?”

  I rested my head against his shoulder. “No, but you might have to ask a few times for the super dirty stuff.”

  “I ain’t too proud to beg.”

  I ran my fingers under the collar of his shirt. “I wish one of us had an office so you could ravish me on top of a desk. Speaking of which...”

  “Let me guess!” He held his hands out in front of him energetically. “If you were a partner, you’d have an office?”

  I nodded. “Seriously, though, I think Sam is about ready to fire both April and I. No way I’m getting the partnership, and he’ll probably pull some strings to make sure I’m the one who gets laid off.”

  “He can’t do that.”

  “Maybe he can’t do that exactly, but he can make April miserable every day and the partnership will be off the table for me permanently.”

  Max sighed. “It’s turns out you weren’t going to get partner, anyway.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It was always Zoe. Sam filled me in during that last sea day while we were sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves. Sam’s been banging her for the last six months. He wouldn’t have chosen you over her.”

  My mouth fell open. “Are you serious? That’s disgusting. Doesn’t that ruin things for you, as well?”

  “Yes, it does.”

  “Then why don’t you look furious? Sam is a career SOB. We have to do something!” I reached for the door handle.

  Max stopped my hand. “Are you going to storm out there and confront him? He doesn’t shuffle in until ten. It won’t do you any good, anyway.”

  “What’s your suggestion?”

  He smiled. “I’ve got something in the works. How do you feel about quitting this place and hanging out our own shingle?”

  “You mean start our own firm?”

  “Absolutely. We even have our first employee‌—‌April‌—‌for handling administrative duties. It is taking a risk, but I think it could be worth it. What do you say?”

  I distracted myself by looking at office supplies. I couldn’t meet his eyes while I considered his proposition. “So we’d be partners in our own firm? I wouldn’t have to deal with these jerks anymore. If I decide to work all night, it would be to my benefit, not theirs. I’d be working closely with you...” The thought of it made me want to burst with happiness.

  “That sounds like a ‘yes’ to me.”

  “Yes! I’m so excited, Max. This is going to be amazing.”

  His hand gripped my waist. A second hand moved down to cup my butt. “Looks like you really did sleep your way to the top.”

  I pressed my breasts against his chest. “I’m not going to start this firm with you if you keep making jokes like that.”

  “Really?”

  “No, not really.” I laughed. “But if you upset me, I won’t do all the deliciously nasty things I have planned for tonight.”

  He growled seductively, pulling me against his groin. “No more jokes, then. I would never risk losing out on that.”

  We spent the next twenty minutes in the supply closet cementing our partnership in the only way we knew how. When we left the closet, I finally had some conviction. I had confidence in my future. My fifteen-year plan would have to be adapted, but this was a newer, better plan, and I couldn’t have been happier.

  Finally, I was going somewhere.

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen